9/23/11 Friday

I also have evidence to support my nocturnal circadian rhythm. And even if there wasn't scientific evidence, it's still about the schedule which makes me feel, perform, and think better, not a choice I make to be cool, or Goth, or dark, or whatever nonsense judgmental idiots come up with. Also there's evidence to suggest that we night owls are more intelligent. But nevertheless those of us who lie on the extreme end of eveningness are considered to have a Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder. I find it rather amusing that it's considered a disorder because my body clock tells me to go to sleep between the hours of 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. and wake between 12 p.m. and 2 p.m. Those are the hours which make me feel at my best and with which I can perform at my peak. Sleep isn't just a matter of how much, but also the quality of the sleep and when it is obtained. Those of who are naturally nocturnal would often rather be diurnal because it would definitely be easier to fit in and be a part of the normal world. So many people think that those who are different choose to be. We don't. If anything it'd be so much easier to be normal and fit in and prefer khaki and so-called "normal" things. Some preferences are a matter of choosing whether to express them (i.e. fishnet shirts or conservative blouse), but some things are simply biological. Check out the Truth About Nocturnal People.

I have also done an experiment, if you will, on myself using one of those full-spectrum light bulbs. After about 20 minutes to half an hour of having the warm sun like glow of the lamp on, I become very relaxed and somnolent. I came to the conclusion that if I have any chores or important tasks to do, I can not have that lamp turned on. I only use it now, to see my nail polish or to meditate: things which don't require it to be on for extended periods of time. If our circadian rhythms were all diurnal as many claim then full-spectrum light would make me feel energized, not sleepy wouldn't it?

I've worked in the 9-5 world. I went to bed at 11 p.m. (ideally) and woke to the sound of the alarm at 7 a.m. It was, simply put, miserable. I adjusted to this schedule, but was never acclimated to it in the way that extremely diurnal people tend to be. I have been described as grumpy, grouchy, cranky, even evil in the morning. It is such that I adopted a rule long ago where I refuse to say the words "good morning" at all. My natural reply is "What's so good about it?!" while grumpily trying to navigate my way into a wakeful state. I have learned not to say this bitter anti-morning response out loud for fear of a plethora of admonitions that the morning is to be celebrated because I'm alive, as well as the always joyful reminder that God woke me up and I should be grateful, etc. etc… So I learned to keep my mouth shut when encountering the super-chipper-wish-I-could-choke-them morning person. They don't understand how the very sound of their voice affects us. I can actually have a conversation with a night owl in the morning, but not with an extreme diurnal type. There's something too cheerful, sunny, bright, and obnoxious about their disposition which I find off-putting and irritating, further bringing forth my cranky anti-morning irritability.

So to all you morning larks out there, when you encounter the irritable, cranky person in the morning, just be quiet and leave us alone until we're ready to join the wakeful world.